I really hate unloading the dishwasher. (Weirdly, loading it’s no problem). If I had to rate how much I dislike this chore on a scale of -10 to 10, it would be somewhere around an -7. As a point of reference, having to take the dog out in the middle of a busy day is a 2. Letting myself sneak off for a quick nap after the dog walk is an 8.

As you can tell, I’ve given a lot of thought to quantifying how much I enjoy or dread certain aspects of my day. That’s why I’ve come up with a way to do less of what I dread and more of what I love. Inspired by my former coach, Martha Beck, I call this system, “Bag It, Barter It, or Brighten It.” It’s a powerful way to design your life so it’s as bright as possible.

As a leader of a team or organization, you’ve got countless decisions to make, endless meetings to attend, and a daily deluge of emails to keep up with. So, if you forget to say good morning or fail to reply to an email, it’s no big deal, right?

Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

When you’re a leader, what you say (or don’t say) and what you do (or don’t do) can dramatically impact how the people around you think, feel, and work. I call this the “wake” of leadership. Leaders who aren’t tuned in to what and how they communicate can unwittingly damage the team. Folks who get caught in a frothy, turbulent wake feel unappreciated, undervalued, and uninspired.

It’s been a doozy of a week. A difficult client led to some tough conversations and patience-testing moments. Since we’ve all been in a situation like this (and if you haven’t yet, you will!), I thought I’d share some of the strategies that helped me keep my head on straight—and keep on smiling.

When I first launched Live Bright Now in 2005, I summed up my company’s mission—which is also my personal mission—this way: Igniting people at work and in life.

I’m going to dig into what that mission means and how to get there in just a sec. But first, let me meander for a moment on a different (but related, I promise) topic.

You might have seen my post about the last-minute cancellation of the infamous Markleeville Death Ride due to the Tamarack fire. You might also recall that Matt and I had trained for months for this grueling ride and to raise money for Trips for Kids Marin. We were disappointed by the cancellation, of course, but the whole experience left us feeling grateful for so many things—starting with the safe evacuation of all 2,500 riders, volunteers, and the entire town of Markleeville.

Not long ago, I was at a weekend retreat (the same weekend that I had an epiphany after falling off a high ropes course). Exploring the grounds when I first arrived, I happened upon a sign with 11 words carved into it: Are you paying attention to what you are paying attention to? I glanced at the sign and hurried on. A lounge chair at the mineral pool was calling my name.