A Simple Formula for a Brighter Life

I really dislike unloading the dishwasher. (Strangely enough, I don’t mind loading it.) If I had to rate my dislike for this task on a scale of -10 to 10, it would sit around a -7. For context, taking the dog out during a busy day is a 2, while sneaking in a quick nap afterward is an 8.

As you can tell, I’ve thought a lot about ranking how much I enjoy—or dread—different tasks throughout my day. That’s why I created a system to do less of what I dislike and more of what brings me joy. Inspired by my former coach Martha Beck, I call it “Bag It, Barter It, or Brighten It.” It’s an effective way to design your life so it’s as fulfilling as possible.

Here’s how it works: when faced with a task, I do a quick mental check on how it rates for me. For example, weeding scores a -9. I find it boring, and my back aches afterward. So, I put weeding in the “Bag It” category and happily outsource it—either to my husband Matt or a landscaping crew. (I realize hiring help is a financial luxury, and I’m grateful I have the option to spend money instead of time on things I truly dislike.)

Taking out the trash is another job I’d rather avoid (it’s a -4 for me). But it’s perfect for bartering. Matt doesn’t mind hauling out the trash and recycling, but he absolutely hates cleaning the bathroom. So, we “Barter It”—he handles the garbage, and I tackle the bathroom cleaning. We both win.

Now, let’s say I need to ship something for work. Packaging it up, finding the address, driving to the post office, and waiting in line? Not fun. But I can turn this -2 task into a solid 6 by “Brightening It” with a latte as a reward when I’m done.

This system—Bag It, Barter It, Brighten It—helps me quickly prioritize how I spend my time and energy. It’s my personal version of Marcus Buckingham’s Strength Finder. Buckingham, a best-selling author and leadership expert, defines strengths as:

“A strength is not what you are good at, and a weakness is not what you are bad at. A strength is an activity that strengthens you. It draws you in, makes time fly, and leaves you feeling empowered.”

This is my excuse for skipping vacuuming, which I’m good at but don’t enjoy at all!

To further brighten your life, think not only about how you spend your time but also who you spend it with. Do the people in your work or social circles energize you or drain you? If it’s the latter, it might be time to reassess your relationships—and why you’re keeping them.

By taking time to evaluate how both your activities and your companions make you feel, you ensure you’re actively shaping your life instead of letting it just happen to you. And that’s how you start designing a life that truly shines.